yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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