Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
