What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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