I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
