It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
