He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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