remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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