And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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