Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
