She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
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Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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