I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
