His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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