at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
