Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Come on in and take your pants off
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