I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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