Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
