No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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