My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
