Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
do nipples grow back?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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