i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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