ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
