he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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