may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
