no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was like eating out sand paper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
