More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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