then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
