Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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