Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
