He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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