Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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