And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
