that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am one with the molecules
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
