non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Someone signed my nipple.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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