Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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