All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
