Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
