I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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