Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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