The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
