Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
