Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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