So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
