That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
