Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
