I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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