I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
