Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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