If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
