I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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