But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
