people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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