I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
