i already hear my dad disowning me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
