he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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