that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm at about main and main street
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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