My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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