i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
