okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
