Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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